Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT) is based on the developmental and evolutionary psychology, attachment theory, neuroscience and philosophy and uses techniques from cognitive behavioural therapy, exposure therapy, imagery and other approaches that are appropriate for each case. Research shows that CFT is especially helpful for people that are highly critical to themselves and is effective for the dealing with common mental health problems.
The cornerstone of therapy is the establishment of a therapeutic alliance based on acceptance, safeness, and cooperation. A distinctive feature of Compassion Focused Therapy is psychoeducation about the way the mind works, the function of emotions and how they are shaped by our experiences. Through this process you can understand your difficulties as part of the common human condition and find helpful ways to address them.
Compassion Focused Therapy posits that when a person is in a safe, supportive environment, where they can receive acceptance and internalize the experience of safeness, then they can learn new behaviours – for example through exposure therapy, imagery or even playfulness – and deal with their difficulties with greater motivation, commitment and efficacy.
Compassion Focused Therapy and Compassionate Mind Training aims to provide this environment and create and support those conditions, so that you can approach your life’s challenges with courage and compassion, feel connected with yourself and others, develop your potential, and enjoy your life fully.
Why is self-compassion good for you?
Most of us have learnt to be helpful and supportive with those around us, when they face something difficult. However, when it comes to ourselves, when we feel inadequate, when we face a difficulty or failure, we usually are not be as much supportive. For example, we would never call a friend early in the morning to remind them again that the previous day they made a mistake at work or something they feel ashamed for, or that others are better than them. Seldom or ever would we keep a friend awake at night to recount all their flaws and errors. On the contrary, how many of us have stayed up late at night, when we have made a mistake or feel inadequate? Or spend the day ruminating about errors, imperfections, and deficiencies we conclude we have by comparing ourselves with others?
According to world-wide research, when we learn to be compassionate with ourselves as we are with our loved ones, we face our difficulties more efficiently, we feel less ashamed for our flaws, we feel less stressed, less depressed, less anxious. We are also less critical with ourselves and we are accordingly more open to receiving support from others, experience more well-being, greater motivation, better interpersonal relationships and feel more satisfaction from life.
So, what would be better than treating ourselves the same way as we treat the people we care for?
Is showing compassion a weakness?
The concept of compassion can sometimes be confounded with the notion of pity or avoiding one’s responsibilities. As you can understand, in therapy we do not intend to make you feel pity about yourselves or others or suffer from situations and behaviours that bring you unhappiness.
In therapy we refer to compassion essentially as the ability to be sensitive to the pain we or others around us feel and adopt a helpful way to alleviate it. Through therapy we learn how to be compassionate, help and support ourselves, the way we would do for a friend or a member of our families.
Moreover, compassion is not just a tender emotion, like being soft with ourselves and others or be exempted from our responsibilities. Many times, we may have to do something we fear, such as setting our boundaries, or undergoing a medical examination we avoid, or taking care of our health by ceasing habits that give us short-term pleasure. And this may be not at all tender and pleasant at the start!
Therefore, compassion has three important qualities:
– Strength and courage (to approach what was difficult or hurtful)
– Wisdom (the knowledge that will help us face our difficulties)
– Commitment (the motivation that inspires and guides us to help ourselves and others, instead of hurting or letting them suffer).
As a therapist I will support you to develop this compassionate strength, so that you will manage the difficulties you face in your lives. This will be a skill and attitude that you may keep after the end of the therapy, so that you will keep on facing future challenges and enjoying your lives!